Dear Coffee (Aka Java, Joe, Mud, GET ME MY DAMN COFFEE)
You are a wonderful substance. You help people get up early in the morning and still be able to function at ungodly hours of the morning. You also help students stay up late to finish projects due the VERY NEXT DAY.
You also have social uses! If you want to express interest in someone, they simply have to ask the object of their desire if they want to go have a cup of Coffee with them.
If only I could find a guy as useful, reliable and delicious as you, the world would be complete.
Love Jo
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