Dear Panera Bread,
There are only so many ways to express affection. Especially to something that is not human, but to something that has no real defineable classification. Some would say you are a simple restaurant, but I believe you are more than that. You serve healthy food at reasonable prices that actually TASTES GOOD. You give me free food every now and then when I use my rewards card, and it makes my day.
It's simple things like that which inspire the deepest love and loyalty. <3
Panera Bread, I luv you.
Love Jo
Monday, July 11, 2011
Sunday, July 3, 2011
Dear Animal Planet
Dear Animal Planet,
As you know, I normally have no beef with you other than the 'STOP MAKING ME FEEL LIKE A HORRIBLE PERSON FOR NOT DONATING MONEY I DON'T HAVE TO THE ASPCA!' thing. But for this recent annoyance, I have to say something.
BIGFOOT DOES NOT EXIST. YOU ARE PUTTING FALSEHOODS AND STUPIDITY ON YOUR CHANNEL. STOP IT NOW.
If you're gonna go after make believe creatures, there are much more interesting ones to pursue! Loch Ness! Leprechauns! Intelligent Twilight Fans!
Sasquatch simply do not exist. And I don't care if you believe that they do, it's silly. The most sasquatch is good for is selling beef jerky at this point. If you're going to believe in a fake creature, at least make it interesting, for Pete's sake... Zombies, Vampires, Werewolves, Faeries, Unicorns... all of these share one commonality: THEY ARE FUN TO THINK ABOUT. Sasquatch? They're hairy, smelly and ugly. Even if it is the 'missing link' between humans and monkeys, who cares? What good will it do at this point in time? NOOOTHIIIIIING.
See, now if you had discovered UNICORNS?! That's a valid scientific find since the rumors are that their horns can purify the dirtiest water and cure disease. What can a ''squatch'' cure?
....Don't got it? Lemme give ya a hint:
NOOOOOOOOOOOOTHIIIIIIIIIIIIIING!
Now if we put the money spent on research into things like Ghosts and stupid things like Bigfoot, we would have cured AIDS by now, I swear. Got no priorities these folks...
Anyway. S'all I got. GOODNIGHT.
Love Jo
As you know, I normally have no beef with you other than the 'STOP MAKING ME FEEL LIKE A HORRIBLE PERSON FOR NOT DONATING MONEY I DON'T HAVE TO THE ASPCA!' thing. But for this recent annoyance, I have to say something.
BIGFOOT DOES NOT EXIST. YOU ARE PUTTING FALSEHOODS AND STUPIDITY ON YOUR CHANNEL. STOP IT NOW.
If you're gonna go after make believe creatures, there are much more interesting ones to pursue! Loch Ness! Leprechauns! Intelligent Twilight Fans!
Sasquatch simply do not exist. And I don't care if you believe that they do, it's silly. The most sasquatch is good for is selling beef jerky at this point. If you're going to believe in a fake creature, at least make it interesting, for Pete's sake... Zombies, Vampires, Werewolves, Faeries, Unicorns... all of these share one commonality: THEY ARE FUN TO THINK ABOUT. Sasquatch? They're hairy, smelly and ugly. Even if it is the 'missing link' between humans and monkeys, who cares? What good will it do at this point in time? NOOOTHIIIIIING.
See, now if you had discovered UNICORNS?! That's a valid scientific find since the rumors are that their horns can purify the dirtiest water and cure disease. What can a ''squatch'' cure?
....Don't got it? Lemme give ya a hint:
NOOOOOOOOOOOOTHIIIIIIIIIIIIIING!
Now if we put the money spent on research into things like Ghosts and stupid things like Bigfoot, we would have cured AIDS by now, I swear. Got no priorities these folks...
Anyway. S'all I got. GOODNIGHT.
Love Jo
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