Dear College (Not just my own college, any college. In fact, College Education in general),
You are like a controlling boyfriend/girlfriend! And here's why:
1. You don't want me to pay attention to anyone but you.
2. You do nothing but drill uninteresting and largely unwanted information into my earholes...
3. You are a gold digger! All you ever want is for me to pay more and more money for things that should not cost as much as they do! You do not NEED to have nice things!
And finally:
4. YOU MAKE ME WANT TO CRAWL UNDER MY BED AND SLEEP FOR A MONTH. I NEED TO SLEEP. IF I DON'T SLEEP, I GET CRANKY AND UNPLEASANT AND NO ONE LIKES ME.
I only have this to say:
IN SEPTEMBER I AM BREAKING UP WITH YOU. IT IS NOT ME, IT'S YOU. I AM NOT COMING BACK AND I WANT THOSE 2 YEARS OF MY LIFE BACK.
There are only so many ways to express affection. Especially to something that is not human, but to something that has no real defineable classification. Some would say you are a simple restaurant, but I believe you are more than that. You serve healthy food at reasonable prices that actually TASTES GOOD. You give me free food every now and then when I use my rewards card, and it makes my day.
It's simple things like that which inspire the deepest love and loyalty. <3
As you know, I normally have no beef with you other than the 'STOP MAKING ME FEEL LIKE A HORRIBLE PERSON FOR NOT DONATING MONEY I DON'T HAVE TO THE ASPCA!' thing. But for this recent annoyance, I have to say something.
BIGFOOT DOES NOT EXIST. YOU ARE PUTTING FALSEHOODS AND STUPIDITY ON YOUR CHANNEL. STOP IT NOW.
If you're gonna go after make believe creatures, there are much more interesting ones to pursue! Loch Ness! Leprechauns! Intelligent Twilight Fans!
Sasquatch simply do not exist. And I don't care if you believe that they do, it's silly. The most sasquatch is good for is selling beef jerky at this point. If you're going to believe in a fake creature, at least make it interesting, for Pete's sake... Zombies, Vampires, Werewolves, Faeries, Unicorns... all of these share one commonality: THEY ARE FUN TO THINK ABOUT. Sasquatch? They're hairy, smelly and ugly. Even if it is the 'missing link' between humans and monkeys, who cares? What good will it do at this point in time? NOOOTHIIIIIING.
See, now if you had discovered UNICORNS?! That's a valid scientific find since the rumors are that their horns can purify the dirtiest water and cure disease. What can a ''squatch'' cure?
....Don't got it? Lemme give ya a hint:
NOOOOOOOOOOOOTHIIIIIIIIIIIIIING!
Now if we put the money spent on research into things like Ghosts and stupid things like Bigfoot, we would have cured AIDS by now, I swear. Got no priorities these folks...
Well then, gogo estrogen gogo! Got an interesting team here. This'll be a challenge to calculate. Maybe.
1. Aunt Brenda! You seem to pop up in these teams quite a lot. Are you trying to tell me something? Anyway. I am STILL not sure what your zombie fighting capabilities are, but at the very least your house could probably be used as shelter from the impending hordes of undead.
2. Gillian. ...Yeah, I wouldn't mess with you if I were a zombie. I wouldn't put it past you to attach chainsaws to a shovel and go to town. I hereby request a photo of you wielding a shovel or a chainsaw to include in this post. You are a formidable undead fighter.
3. Erin--DUDE YOU HAVE BEEN ON ALMOST ALL MY ZOMBIE FIGHTING TEAMS WTF.
4. Emily has goats. And corgis. Both mortal enemies of the zombie. Emily has da minions.
5. I think just about anyone who has heard of or knows Jennie Breeden fully understands why zombies would not stand a chance against this boot-clad bottle of insanity. (For the uninitiated, go find the devil's panties comic and read all of them.)
Estimated survival chance: 100%
Jennie Breeden and Gillian in the same group? Zombies don't stand a chance!
TUNE IN.. NEXT TIME FOR MORE ZOMBIE FIGHTING GOODNESS.
Through dosages untold and drugs unnumbered I fought my way through--
Okay yeah. Pharmacology isn't looking to be as hard as I thought it was going to be. But durnit if I'm gonna come to class on my birthday this year for my first quiz? I wish I had a fancy costume or hat to wear to class to celebrate. After all, it's my FREAKIN' 21ST BIRTHDAY WHOOOOOO.
Not that I expect much hub bub over that. I do, however, have a small birthday wishlist just for the heck of it.
Ready?
1. Galaxy Chocolate (ESPECIALLY MINSTRELS and normal milk chocolate bars.)
2. A cat tree for my kitties. (As you know Valoran tends to use ME as a climbing post in the absence of one.)
3. More underwears. Or clothing in general.
4. Winged Guardian mount for World of Warcraft.
5. Strawberry Daquiri
6. My first tattoo
7. New pillows, maybe even a body pillow.
Aaand that's all I can think of. Bweeeeh. Of course, other than cash. Cash is always good. *nodnod*
I'm gonna be 21. It's pretty trippy--and before you people who are 30+ start whining that I don't know what I'm talking about, stoppit. I'm allowed to be amazed at being 21, particularly SURVIVING TO 21. Do you know how amazing that really is?--because I realized that Michael J Fox is 50 this year. I've decided he is not ALLOWED to be 50 because Back to the Future is still one of my favorite movie trilogies of all time. So he's not allowed to be 50. Not until I'm 30.
Lessee. What else... OMG I HAVE TO DO A ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE TEAM POST! Stay tuned!
I would like to inform you that if the phone call I received this afternoon is going to inform me that one or more of my classes are not available suddenly... this is what will happen to you:
Like these? I got plenty more where that came from.
UPDATE:
I thought of a few more. Cuz I'm bored.
Sean Spencer (Psych) vs That Mentalist Dude (Y'know, the blonde one.)
Chris Rock vs Ralphie May
George Lopez vs Eric Estrada
Amy Lee vs Britney Spears
Casper vs The Ghostbusters
